Show and Tell: Part 1
With most crushes, one person usually has no idea how the other feels, which is always the case with me. Not wanting to show my face card and be vulnerable, I become Sherlock Holmes—gauging actions and interpreting signs and signals for possible interest. A few years ago, I met a man whose friendship-turned-crush threw me for a fucking loop!
I was minding my business, pumping towards the parking garage of my office building when I heard someone say, “did you get the job?” I turned to see this tall, bald, attractive stranger with a daddy build gazing inquisitively at me. Confused and thinking he’d mistaken me for someone else, I asked, “I’m sorry, what?” “At Macy’s,” he replied, looking at me in a way that seized me. There was something in his gaze that I, to this day, still have trouble defining. It felt like going from 60 to 0 MPH in an instant, a beautiful collision. It was as if he knew something, some deep secret that he was withholding. In that infinitesimal moment, with his eyes upon me, I felt…somehow wanted; captured, instantaneously.
Now I was truly taken aback! How did this mesmeric man know that I’d applied for a part-time job at Macy’s?! Coincidentally, we’d both attended the store’s hiring event at the same time a few nights before, I just hadn’t noticed him. Apparently though, he’d noticed me…enough to remember my face when we ran into each other in—another coincidence—the elevator bay of the office building where we both worked full-time.
Shortly after our encounter, we were hired for our respective part-time positions and began developing a friendship, and I started developing quite a crushing crush. He was funny and easygoing, and it certainly helped that he was rather easy on the eyes. While we worked, he’d visit my area to speak and joke with me. It seemed he’d seek me out; coming around more often than necessary, lingering longer than most others would. Sometimes, he’d walk around the different departments with me as I did various tasks, and sometimes, we’d stroll just to pass the time. Over time, we got to know each other. He’d been married and was now divorced with a kid. He used the job at Macy’s to supplement his full-time income and help with his son’s expenses. His day job was working for a tech firm a few floors below mine.
One day, to test the waters, I told him that I was interested in dating again and asked if he knew anyone he could hook me up with. To my surprise, this led to him firing a barrage of questions at me to determine what I found attractive in a partner; my likes and dislikes, etc. My responses were honest but strategic. I listed off qualities that I found attractive in most men, including some of his own. Mind you, this inquisition spanned two days! He was surprisingly invested. During this matchmaking interview, he friended me on Facebook and started following my IG. Our rapport and chemistry coupled with his unusual interest (for a straight guy) in the type of men I like, led me to think that there could possibly be something brewing between us. Sherlock Holmes was on the case!
Sherlock was wrong. Like most of my crushes, the best way for me to quell the roil of emotions is to express them. So I did. One day while deep in my feelings, he and I walked through the doors of the retailer and he could tell something was on my mind, so he asked, “what’s wrong?” “Nothing,” I lied. Like that day in front of the elevators, he saw right through me and pressed, “yes there is.”
To be continued…
*Some details have been altered to protect privacy.
