A Sickly Moment of Dark Surprise

“It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one… It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise as you try and readjust the way you thought of things.”

Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events is one of my favorite movies and I think about this quote by Snicket almost every time I ascend or descend stairs.

The imagery is one that is so specific, yet familiar and palpable. There’s truly a “sickly moment of dark surprise” that happens when you’ve absentmindedly reached the landing thinking there’s just one more step to take. In an instant, your mind and body are jolted and slightly thrown off equilibrium as you “try and readjust the way you thought of things.” It suddenly feels odd or wrong to be where you are, even though you reached the top slightly faster than expected. It’s such a uniquely disconcerting moment.

What an interesting simile for the unpleasant surprise of death. The passing of a loved one is something I’ve recently experienced. Needless to say, adjustments had to be made. Things begin to change immediately. The last stair may have been a phantom, but those left behind must now figure out how to take the next steps.